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Shayari

khatriahm — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 11:41:48 CDT

Ramadan Mubarak & Eid-Ul-Fitr Mubarak

May the Blessing of ALLAH Fill ur life with happiness and open all doors of success now and always. EID MUBARIK

May Allah bless you on this auspicious day of Eid, and May it be a new beginning of greater prosperity, success and happiness. Wish you a Happy Eid Mubarik

Suraj ki kirne, taaron ki bahaar…
Chand ki chandni, apno ka pyaar…
Har ghadi ho khushaal…
ussi tarhan Mubarak ho aapko Eid ka yeh tyohaar!“EID MUBARAK”

Here comes the day,once in a blue moon.
With chanda mama shinin up bright
And blessing everyone… Her luv so tender, merciful.
Shinin down on the earth wishin us
“Happy eid”.”Eid mubarakh”

Wishing you all a very happy eid,
And hoping that all the things you wish
For will be yours throughout the year…
Eid mubarak!!

Dastoor hai duniya ka magar
Yeh to batao hum kisse mile
Kisse kahein eid mubarak,
Miss you on eidday.

Sada haste raho jaise haste hain phool,
Duniya ki sare gham tumeh jaye bhool,
Charo taraf phalao khushion ka geet,
Eisi ummid ka sath Yaar tumhe…MUBARAK ho EID

Remembering u on Eid day is a nice thing to do
Bcoz u r warmly thought of everyday the whole year through
“Happy Eid Mubarak”

Best Leader - Allah
Guide - Quaran
Lyrics - Aazan
Loyality - Imaan
Request - Dua
Protection - Fitra
Oath - Kalma
Exercise - Namaaz
Self Control - Roza
So…Good Luck 4 Ramzan

After 3 days

After 72hrs

After 4320 min

After 259200sec

Every1 will send u this msg but i m the
1st telling u and ur familyEid Mubarak.

May allah accept all our deeds of the holy month. Wish u a very Happy Eid

Eid ki sachi khushito apno ki deed hai,
Tum humse door ho to apni kya eid hai

Eid mubarakho aapko,
Dher sari tarif aur khusiya mile aapko,
But, jab eidi mile aapko to please….
Aap yaad karna sirf humko .

Iss eid ki tarah aap kaa har din Eid ho Is Eid se Aglee Har Eid App ki liye Khushiyon Baarish Ho… Ameen

When my arms can’t reach people close to my heart.
I always hug them with my prayers.
May allah’s peace be with you.
A veryhappy eid mubarak2 U.

Suba jab bhi nikaar dekna
Sham jab bhi bahar dekna
Raat ko tanhai me
Tare jab b her baar dekna
Pyar ko sada abaad rakna
Pyar koEidk lamhon me yaad rakna

Rabb kare tu sada hasdi rahe,
koi dukh tere nere vi na aave,
hor ki dua manga rabb to,
tenu sadi vi umar lag jaave!!!Eid Dian Mubarakan Hoon Tanu

Network busy number busy
No signal massage not sent….
That’s what we’ll see on !St day of ‘’Eid'’
So “Happy Eid Day” before the rush start.

As the candlelight flame,
Ur life may always be happiness’ claim;
As the mountain high,
U move without sigh;
like the white linen flair,
Purity is always an affair;
As sunshine creates morning glory,
fragrance fills years as flory;
with the immaculateeternalsmile,
attached to u mile after mile;
All darkness is far away,
As light is on its way;
Wish all of u a very happyEid Mubarak.

As we reach to the last 10 days ofRamadan.
I ask you, dear friends supplicate to Your Creator.
Now more than ever. Coz @ any special moment in that time Duas get answered.Ramadhan Mubarak!

Suba jab b nikaar dekna
Sham jab b bahar dekna
Raat ko tanhai me
Tare jab b her baar dekna
PIY@r ko sada abaad rakna
PIY@r koEidk lamhon me yaad rakna

taray dil mein mari saansoon ko panah mil jaey,,,,,,taray ishaq mein mari jan fana ho jaey

Do you know the Meaning of EID? I think it means "ENJOY in DUNIYA!!" So, In your life all moments bring EID for you.... Wish You...EID MUBARAK.

wish u a beautiful EID let me be the first to wish u EID@MUBARAK wishing u happy eid mubarak the beauty of our relationship is love specially for u

I AVE STATD ECCPETIN EID GIFTS IN CASH,CHEQUE,SILVER N EVEN IN GOLD SO AVOID LAST MIN RUSH N SEND NOW!

EID MUBARAK ho Aapko, Dher sari tarif aur khusiya mile aapko, But, Jab EIDI mile aapko to Please.... Aap Yaad karna Sirf Humko

Eid is Meaning of Love. I Wish it just for U....Ur Vision is my Eid So....Eid Mubarak.

I WISH A WISH 4 U;;;ITS A WISH I WISH 4 FEW;;;DA WISH I WISH 4 U IZ DAT ALL UR WISHES COME TRUE..........WISH U HAPPY EID DAY

Kash hum ek SMS hoty bas aik click mey aap ky paas hoty mana k aap hamy delete kar letay laikin kuch dair k liye tou hum aap ky paas hoty or bari khushi say kehtay EID MUBARAK>>>>>

As Allah waters HIS Creation, May HE also sprinkle HIS wonderous blessings over you and your beloved ones.(Aameen).**EID MUBARAK*

SendinG U WarM WisheS ON "EID-UL-ZUHA AnD WishinG THAT, IT BringS Your WeY EveR JOYS AND Happiness .Remember me in ur prayers.

A friend iz sweet when its newbut it iz sweeter when its true ,but u know what,its sweetest when its u,,,eid mubarak from the core n kernel of my heart

Hum app ki yaad main udas hain, Bas app say milnay ki ass hay, Chahay dost kitnay hi kion na hoon, Maray liye tu app hi sab se khas hain...Eid Mubarak To My Cute, Sweet and Special Friend

Salammmmmzzzzzz!!!Phoolon ki har khili khushboo dey aap ko..........Suraj ki har kiran roshni dey aap ko..........Hum tou kuch deny kay qabil nahi..........Deny wala her khushi dey aap ko(AAMIN)EID MUBARAKKK 2 my Cuty Jani:-)

May Allah this occasion flood your life with happiness,ur heart with love,ur soul with spirtual, ur mind with wisdom,wishing u a very Happy Eid Mubarik

Jub kabi bin mange app per khushion ki bersaat ho, jub kabi app ka dil anjaani khushi se betaab ho, to samaj lena koi aap ko duaon main yaad ker raha hai. Happy Eid Day

Jub tuk yah zamin rahe asman rahe hushian tuje naseeb hon, tu jahan rahe sajti rahe unhi teri phulon ki anjuman, chamne bahar teri Be hazan rahe, Eid Mubarik

Eid ul adha is eid of sacrifice, and commitment to Allahs orders,May Allah bless us with the same in all circles of life,and help all amongst us, who r helpless,worried, and waiting for his rehmat, Ameen.Eid Mubarak.

Funny Shayari

Dil Logi, Ke Jaan Logi
Meri Jaan Set Hone main Kitna Time Logi

Soldier Soldier.....pressure cooker khol kar
Sabzi meri uraa le gaya

Kutta ban gaya hoon tere pyaar main
yakeen nahin aata to suno...Bhow..bhow

Aaj Tu Kali Hai, Kal Gulab Hoga
Mujh Se Shadi Kar Le, Bara Sawaab Hoga

Maine tujhe pyar kiya, saraswati samajh kar
Tere baap ne mujhe pita, agarbattti samajh kar

Kamaata nahin hun itni ke tujhe roze khilaoon
Aaati hai to aaa ja, ya kisi aur ko pataooon

Katchi Kali Katchnar Ki, Katcha Na Samjhna
Lar Jaoonga Tere Baap Se Batcha Na Samajhna

Woh jab chalti hai to raahon main 100-100 ke note bichata hoon
Woh chaali jati hai tab uthaa leta hoon

Sheeshi bhari gulab ki, sheesha chatak gaya,
Buddhi ne aankh maari, buddha latak gaya

Sheeshi bhari gulab ki, phatthar se phor doon
Pant wali mil jaye, to ghanghre wali ko chor doon

Dil hai tera dariyaa....Aankhen hain teri Jheel
So my darling ... What's The Big-Deal ??

Aaakhain taras gaye tumhara khyal aa gaya
Ab to chehra dikha do, naya saal aaa gaya

Gul Gaye Gulshan Gaye, Gul Ke Patte Rah Gaye
Sare Shayair Mar Gaye, Tum Ullu Ke Pathe Rah Gaye

Paida hua Wakeel (advocate) to Shaitaan nay kaha
Lo aaj main bhee Sahab-e-Aulad ho gaya.

Teri zulf kya hai raat ka saaya hai
Sar mudaa deeya to sawera ho jayega

Tere ishq main janam kya se kya haal ho gaya
Badan se badboo aa rahee hai, nahay jamana ho gaya

Aasman se gira ek chaand ka tukda,
Usse bhi sundar aapka mukhra.

Na teer, na talvaar se ghayal hue hain...
Teri sirf ik nazaar se, ilzaam, Shaayar hue hain

Pyar mein kisine Dhoka to kisine kasam khayi hai
Hum wo majnoo hai jisne sirf laat khayi hai

Patharr kyun marte ho, pura pahaar maar do
Hum yuheeen mar jayenge, sirf ek baar aankh maar do

Meri jaib main hai kath, meri rifle bhari hui hai
Mujhe khauf kya police ka, mera baap mantri hai

Neil Armstrong Chand par Gaya aur Farmaya
Ye Saala, Idhar hawa kyon nahin ayaa

Rafta Rafta dekho aankh meri lari hai
Aaankh *** se lari hai woh meri maa se bhi bari hai

Yeh tera chehra hai yaa kele ka chhilka
Jo dekha to dil phisal gaya

Tairna Hai To Paani Main Aao, Kinare Pe Kya Rakha Hai
Ishq Karna Hai To Bahar aa, Ishare main Kya Rakha Hai

Maine tumhare yadon mein ro ro ke tub bhar diya
Magar tum itne bewafa nikle, ki naha ke chal diye

Unki zulfoon pe pyaar aaya
Paas ja kar dekha tu sardar paya

Duniya Se Jo Darre, Usse Kaayar Kehte Hain,
Duniya Jisse Darre, Usse Shaayar Kehte Hain

Ek Sher sunaata hoon bade dhyan se suno
Mujhe shair nahi aata kisi aur se suno.

Yeh zulfain hain tumhari, ya resham ke jaal,
Kitne khush-naseeb hain vo choohe
Jin hon ne kutre tere baaal

Itni raat gaye Kyon apni qhabar khod raha hai Galib
Itni raat gaye kyon apni qhabar khod raha hai Galib
La, phawda muze de de !!

Teri Beauty Ne Mujko Appeal Kiya,
Dusri Ko Reject Kiya,
Aur Tisri Ko Select Kiya.

Maine tujhe dekha
Dekhta raha, Dekhta hi gaya
Phir mujhe chashma lag gaya

Gam woh cheez hai
Gam woh cheez hai
Gam woh cheez hai
Jisse kagaz chipkaye jaate hain

Ladka: Kaash in hasinaaon kay baap mar jayen'
Bahana ho afsos ka hum inke ghar to jayen
Ladki: Aisa sochna bhi aye zalim paap hoga
Kabhi tu bhi kisi hasina ka baap hoga

Ladki: Chandni chand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi
Mohabaat ek se hoti hai, hazaron se nahi
Ladka: Chandni chand se hogi to sitaron ka kya hoga
Mohabbat ek se hogi to hazaron ka kya hog

Yusuf ka husn, Zulekha ka ghumaar dekha hai
Kuch is tarah se Haseenon ka pyaar dekha hai
Unhe khilane pilaane main hui hai yeh haalat
Kasm khuda ki..Cinema bhi udhaar dekha hai

Humne bhi pyar kiya tha zindgi main,badi joshh ke sath !
Humne bhi pyar kiya tha zindgi main,badi shhor ke sath !
Aab hum pyar karenge badi soch ke sath !
Kyon ki usey kal shamko dekha kisi aur ke sath !

Aur bhi bahut si cheezain lut chu-ki hai dil ke saath
Ye bataya doostoon ne ishq furmane ke baad
Is liye kamray ki ek ek cheez "ckeck" karta hoon main
"Ek tere aane se pehle, ek tere jaa-ne ke baad"

Chandni raat thi, main so rahi thi
Phir kisi ne darwaza khutkhataya
Maine soncha mera dil aaya
Darwaza khol ker dekha to bijli ka bill aaaya

Maana Ke Main Pura Musalman To Nahi
Par Apne Deen Se Nata To Jor Sakta Hoon
Nemaz Roza Kuch Na Sahi
Shab-E-Barat Patakhe To Chor Sakta Hoon

Industrian sari mere yaar kha gaye
Meri Sari jaydaaad rishtedar kha gaye
Marne Ke baad bhi unho ne ki meri saath cheating
banaye mazar to minaar kha gaye

Mard taange waala
Hoon main mard taaange wala
Mujhe teacher kya marega
Main to hoon principal ka saaala

Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kyaa chahiye tumhain
Jo bhii kaho ge merii dukaan per wo paoge
maine kahaa ke kutte ke khaane kaa cake hai
bolaa yahiin pe khaaoge yaa leke jaaoge

Jahaan gaaye the khushiyon ke taraane,
Muqaddar dekhiye roye wahiin par
Hue masjid se Gum juute hamaare,
JahaaN se paaye the, khoye wahiin par

Ghar ghar main diya jale
To diwali mat samjho
Agar main tera peeche paroon
To mawali mat samjho

Khud ko kar buland itnaa
Kay Himaalay ki choti pe jaa pahunche
Aur khuda tumse puche
Abe gadhe, ab utrega kaise

Birdy, birdy in the sky
Why you poo poo in my eye
I didn't sigh, i didn't cry
Thank God, Cow's don't fly !

Apple kat ta hoon knife se,
Paani peeta hoon pipe se,
Kya zamana aaa gaya,
Joote khata hoon wife se

Use karte hein make-up ka daba roze kiyun?
Ban sanwar kar nikalte hain chailaa roze kiyun?
Mummy tum to kehti thee Eid to kab kee gaye
Phir Parosan se gale miltay hain Papa roze kiyun?

Kuch Kuch Hota Hai,
Exam paas aaye, sir mera dukhaye
Teacher ne na jaaane kyun, dande dikhaye,
Ab to mera sir, jaage na sota hai,
Kya karoon haye, kuch kuch hota hai....

Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak
Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak
Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak
Dharti se aasmaa tak, aasmaa se dharti tak
[Audience: Are bhai, aage bhi to bolo.]
Hawa hi hawa hai.

Yu raaton ko na jaago, so liya karo
Yu dil mein aansu na roko, ro liya karo
Baal to bahut acche banaate ho
Kabhi muhn bhi dhoo liya karo

Kuch ghabraaye se aaj lagte ho,
Kapkapaaye se kto aaj lagte ho,
Soorat bhi chamakdaar ho gayi hai,
ek maheene baad nahaaye se lagte ho....

kareee jao

karee jao

karee jao

karee jao

karee jao

karee jao

karee jao

karee jao

karee jao

karee jao

karee jao

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karee jao

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KAREE JAO

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KAREE JAO

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karee jao
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.....................KAAREE JAOOOO...........................................

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KAREE JAO

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.BAYSHARMOUN KI TARHA Message receive karee jaoo kabhe khud bhi tho send karna
....Hahahhahahahhahahah.....

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Murgi anda deti hai

anda to safed hota hai

safed to dhood bhi hota hai

lekin dhood to bhesh deti hai

lekin bhesh to kali hoti hai

kala to bangali hota hai

bangali to paan khata hai

paan to lal hota hai

lal to gulab hota hai

gulab main to kante hote hai

kante to machli main bhi hote hai

lekin machli to achhi hoti hai

achha to aadmi bhi hota hai

lekin aadmi to lamba hota hai

lamba to ye scrap bhi hai

lekin mujhe usase kya

mujhe to tumhara dimag khana tha kha liya

ab yeh batao kaise ho

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Apne husan per itna guroor na kar
sab 2 din ki masti hai..
Tera husan bhi tab tak qaim hai
jab tak FAIR & LOVELY sassti hai

Ess kader hum apko chahte hai ki,
Duniya wale dekhkar jal jate hai,
Yoo to hum sabhiko ullu banate hai,
Lakin aap thoda jaldi ban jaate hai.

Taj Mahel Ko Dekh kar Bola Shah Jahan Ka Pota
aaj Hamara Bhi Bank Balance Hota, Agar Dada Diwana Na Hua Hota

**** taraf dekho udhar tumhaara hi naam hai..., **** taraf dekho udhar tumhaara hi naam hai...; Upar likha hain "MOST WANTED" aur neeche 5 lakh ka Inaam hai..!!!

Pyar na rahe to wafa kaun karega,Dost na rahe to dosti kaun karega.Khuda salamat rakhe tumhe varna bandar ki tarah uchal-kood kaun karega....

arste huai haaton see usne meri kaliyon ko u chuwa !,mano uski har saas keh rahi hoo bhai saahab time kya hua

Ek aap ho ki sharmate bahut ho,Ek aap ho kii itrate bhi bahut ho.Dil to karta hai ki aapko Dinner pe ley javein,Kambakht ek aap ho ki khaate bhi bahut ho

U r my sona,
i don't want u khona,
i want a place in your heart hona,
AT LEAST EK SMS TO KARONA
Otherwise i will start rona.

Unki Gaali ke chakkar kaat te kaat te,kutte humaare yaar ho gaaye,
Unki Gaali ke chakkar kaat te kaat te,kutte humaare yaar ho gaaye,
Woh to humhe naa mili..................
Magaar hum kutton ke Sardaar ho gaaye!!!

Ladka apni dilruba se pooch raha hai
Kya pyaar karna paap hai?
Kya pyaar karna paap hai?
Ladke ka dost uske kaan mein bolta hai
Abbey patli gali pakad peeche uska baap hai

Woh jab chalti hai to raahon main 100-100 ke note bichhaa deta hoon
Woh jab chalti hai to raahon main 100-100 ke note bichhaa deta hoon

Uske jaane ke baad woh sab note utha leta hoon..

Niche jaao aur jito

PAISE HI PAISE

or niche

or niche

or niche

YAKIN nahin aata
"TUM" paiso k liye
itna niche gir sakte ho

Love Shayari

mujhe pata nahin kya ho jata hai,
neend aati nahin or chain kho jata hai,
phir dil bechain ho jata hai,
or khwaab kuch aisa aata hai,
ki aap ka hath hamare hathon mein,
or sar hamare kandhe pe nazar aata hai.

Pal koi aisa na guzre jab mushkilo me ham saath na de
Kisi saans me ham tumko bhule, rab hame aisi saans na de

Hasdi Rahe Hamesha Meri Jaan

Kar Dewaan Jind Main Ohton Kurbaan
Dekh Ke Lok Khush Ohnu Ho Jande Ne Hairaan
Ki Banke Oh Rahegi Hamesha Sadi Jind Jaan

mana ki ham bhula nahi paate unhe ek pal ke liye

par yu roya bhi nahi jaata ek pal ke liye
mila jo yu wo milkar bichhad gaya zindgi ke liye
unhe dil se nahi lagaya jaata dillagi ke liye
mana ki ye baat har kisi ko lagti hai sacchi
par har ajnabi nahi hote jamane mein bhulane ke liye
yu to khuda se jo maanga wo paya dua mein
par har dua kahan kabul hoti hai har kisi ke liye
wo aayega na lautkar fir kabhi ye jaante hain
fir bhi dil dhadkta hai aaj bhi usi ajnabi ke liye

ik baat puchte rehte hain hum,
bhagwan se fariyaad mein,
aisa kya hai unki har baat mein,
kyun aati hai bar bar woh meri yaad mein,
kya bhagwan yahi woh pyar hai,
jisko milne ke liye kiya,
hamne itna intzaar hai.

Thaame Rakhna Haath Hamara Aise Hi
Dete Rehna Saath Zindagi Bhar Aise Hi
Yu To Milenge Zindagi Mein Chahne Wale bahut
Milenge To Bas Hamare Jaise Nahi

Batao Kaisa Lagta Hai…?
Kisi Veraan Raste Pe,
Kisi Anjaan Raste Pe,
Kisi Ka Saath Mil Jaana,
Khushi Ke Phool Khil Jaana,

Batao Kaisa Lagta Hai…?
Aur Uss Ke Baad Phir Ek Din,
Kisi Ka Youn Bichar Jaana,
Sabhi Rangon Ka Mit Jaana,
Woh Band Mutthi Mein Haathon Ki,
Faqat Kuch Rait Reh Jaana,
Batao Kaisa Lagta Hai…?

Doston..Aaj Ek nazm likhi .. jisse bahut jald post karungi..
Uss nazm ko likhte hue ek khayal aaya zehan mein
Ki Aansu hum sab ki zindagi mein kya jagah rakhte hain!!Zaruri nahi ye hamesha gham ki nishani hon..
Kabhi kabhi ye uss jazbe ka ehsaas bhi kara dete hain jisse hum Khushi
kehte hain..Ussi nazm ko likhte hue maine kuch lines
Ek khayal ki tarah likhi hain..
jo aap sab k saath share kar rahi hoon yahanKuch Deewane Aansu
Ishq ke daayre mein
Apna muqaam paa lete hain
Chahat ke kisson mein
Apni zindagi ka
Har hissa baha lete hain
Inhe hum kabhi
Jo mitaana chahein
Mohabbat mitne lagti hai
Inke Ehsaas Bina
Khushiyon ki aandhi mein
Wafayein bujhne lagti hain!!Ummeed hai sahi likhi hongi..

Katoon si chubhti hai Tanhai
Angaroon si sulagti hai TanhaiKoi aa kar hum dono ko hunsa de
Main rota hoon rone lagti hai TanhaiJab bhi tere sehar se nikalna chaha
Yaadoon ke beej bone lagti hai TanhaiRaat ke kisi hise main yeh bhi Bewafa ho jati hai
Main nahi sota sone lagti hai TanhaiTum se judaa ho kar is se hi Dil laga lia hai
Mar sa jata hoon jab khone lagti hai Tanhai

Humari baAton se ittefaq karoge kyon nahin
Main jo andheron me khara hun ik roushni liye
Ek ummid hai qayam abtak mujhme JAAN
main aasmaan bichhaunga tumhari zameen ke liye.

Tumhain ziada sataein tou
Kabhi titli na bolay tou

Aur jugnoo naa chamkain tou
Kabhi jab dil bhi bhar jaaey

Koi jab sunn na paye tou
Aur saray dost saathi bhi

Jo tum sai rooth jaaein tou
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khatriahm — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 10:07:38 CST

Sardar Joke

SantaSinghsent his bio data to America to apply for a post in Microsoft. A few days later he got this reply:- Dear Mr. Singh, You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained. Thanks

Santasinghjumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a party and when all the guests had come, he said Bhaiyon aur Behno,aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki mujhay america mein naukri mil gayee hai." Everyone was delighted.Santasinghcontinued Ab main aap sab ko apnaa appointment letter padkar sunaongaa par letter english main hai isliyen saath-saath hindi main translate bhee kartaa jaongaa.

Dear Mr.Singh-----pyare singh sahab

You do not meet----aap to miltay hee naheen ho

our requirement----humko to zaroorat hai

Please do not send any furthur correspondance----ab letter vetter bhejnay kee zaroorat nahee hai.

No phone call ----phone vone kee bhee zaroorat nahee hai

shall be entertained----bahut khaatir kee jayegi.

Thanks----aapkaa bahut bahut shukriya

**************************************************************************

ASardardied and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate Saint Peter told him that new rules here in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions:

1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T".

2. How many seconds are there in a year?

TheSardarthought for a few minutes and answered...

1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow.

2. There are 12 seconds in a year. Saint Peter said, "OK, Ill buy the Today and Tomorrow answer, even though its not the answer I expected.

But how did you get 12 seconds in a year?" The Singh replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc..." Saint Peter opens the gate without another word.

********************************************************************************

OneSardarwas enjoying Sun on a Beach inAmerica. A lady came and asked him, " Are you relaxing"Sardaranswered '" No I amBantaSingh"Another Guy Came and asked the same Question.Sardaranswered " No No MeBantaSingh" Third one came and asked the same questionSardarwas totally annoyed and decided to shift his place. While walking he saw anotherSardarenjoying the Beach. He went and asked him " Are you Relaxing?" The otherSardarwas much educated and answered "Yes I am relaxing " OurSardarslapped him on his face and said, "Salay, Sab tere Ko wahah doond rahe hai aur tu Yahaan Aaram Kar raha hai."

************************************************************

After making a trip of South India ,SantaSingh,his wife and his son were returning topunjabin Tamilnadu Express.SantaSinghwas occupying the lower berth, his wife the middle berth and his son the top most berth in the train. When the train stopped at one of the stations on the way back the son requestedSantaSinghto bring him a cup of Ice cream to whichSantareadily agreed. WhenSantaand his son returned they found that a South Indian who couldn't understandhindihad occupied his son's birth . Outraged,SantaSinghcalled the TT and asked him to help. TT requested that he could not understandHindi/Punjabiso it would be better ifSantaSinghexplained the whole situation to him inEnglish.SantaSinghexplained , " That man sleeping on top of my wife is not giving birth to my child."

************************************************************

ASardarjiand an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.

TheSardarji,tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.

The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."

Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.

The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."

This catches theSardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.

TheAmericanasks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

TheSardarjidoesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.

"Okay," says the American, "your turn".

He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"

TheAmerican,puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.

Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.

After an hour, he wakes theSardarjiand hands him $500.

TheSardarjithanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.

TheAmerican, who is more than a little miffed, stirs theSardarjiand asks, "Well, what's the answer?"

Without a word, theSardarjireaches into his purse,hands theamerican$5,and goes back to sleep.

*****************************************************************************

Asardarjicomes up to thePakistanborder on his bike. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.

The guard Iqbal stops him and says, 'What's in the bags?' 'Sand,' answered theSardarji.

Iqbal says, 'We'll just see about that. Get off the bike.'

Iqbal's guard takes the bags and rips them apart, he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand. He detains thesardarjiall night and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags. Iqbal releases thesardaji,puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto thesardarji's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. Iqbal asks, 'What have you got?' 'Sand,' says theSardarji.

Iqbal does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand. He gives the sand back to theSardar,and crosses the border on his bike. This sequence of events is repeated every day for three years.

Finally, theSardarjidoesn't show up one day and the guard, Iqbal, meets him in a 'Dhaba' in Islamabad.

'Hey, Buddy,' says Iqbal, 'I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about...I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?'

TheSardaji,sips his Lassi and says, 'Bikes'

***************************************************************************

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Mankuwa City to Sukhpur city, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed.. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left." Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can fly just fine on two engines." An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours.But don't worry ... we still have one engine left." Asardarjipassenger turned to the man in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"

************************************************************************

Three men were applying for the same job as a detective. One was aSardarji,one was Jewish, and one was Italian. The chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that answer. When the Jewish man arrived for his interview, the chief asked him, "Who killed Jesus Christ?" The Jewish man answered without hesitation. "The Romans killed him." The chief thanked him and he left. When the Italian man arrived for his interview, the chief asked the Same question. He replied "Jesus was killed by the Jews." Again, the chief thanked the man who then left. Finally theSardarjiarrived for his interview, he was asked the same question. He thought for a long time, before saying,"Could I have some time to think about it?" The chief said,"OK, but get back to me tomorrow." When theSardarjiarrived home, his wife asked "How was the interview ?".Sardarjireplied, "Great, I got the job, and I'm already investigating a murder.

***************************************************************************

Talking about those days when there were no mosquito repellents and we had to spend sleepless nights.Sardarjiwas also experiencing the same every time. he tries to sleep,one mosquito comes and disturbs his sleep with a sound "guooonn, guooonn." He gets very irritated. He tries to cover his ear but the problem remains persistent. Ultimately he gets up and catches the mosquito in his hand. He is very kind and not for the blood shed but still wanted to take revenge. Happy as he is now starts singing a lullaby and says "so ja machchar, bete so ja". After some time he finds the mosquito falling into deep sleep in his hands. So he goes near it and says "Guoooonnnnn, guoooonnnnn."

******************************************************************************

SantaSinghapplied for an engineering position at DEMAN CONSTRUCTION office in Amritsar. Reddy from Chennai applied for the same job and both applicants having the same qualifications were asked to take a test by the Department manager Mr. Arvin Singh. Upon completion of the test, the results showed that both men only missed one of the questions. The manager went to Santa and said, "Thank you for your interest, but we've decided to give the job to Reddy".Santa: And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct. This being Punjab I should get the job!" Manager: "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the one question that you got wrong. "Santa: "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?" Manager: "Simple, for the question that both of you got wrong, Reddy put down 'I don't know' as the answer. And you wrote 'Neither do I'!"

***************************************************************************

Asardarwanted to sell his old battered Maruti car which had done more than
100,000 kms. Since no body was inclined to buy it, he approached his friend to
help him dispose it off. The friend advised him to have the mileage meter
reading reduced to around 30,000 kms so that he could tell the prospective
customer that it has been used sparingly. Thesardarliked the idea. A few
weeks later the same friend met him and enquired whether he was able to
dispose off his car. Thesardarreplied, "Are you mad? Who sells a car which
has done only 30000 kms!

***************************************************************************

ASardarjeereported for his University final examination which consists of
"yes/no" type questions. he takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at
the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes
his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the
answer sheet - Yes for Heads and No for Tails. Within half an hour he is all
done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out. During the last few
minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The
moderator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "I finished the
exam in half and hour. But, I am rechecking my answers

*************************************************************************

SantaSinghneeded some money desperately. Someone told him that if goes & prays at Gurudwara, Mosque, Church & a temple, that his prayers will surely be answered. SoSantagoes to a Gurudwara, & prays there. Then he goes to a Mosque and prays there. Than he goes to a church and prays there. Then he goes to a Shiv temple. The temple had a large Lord Shiva statue.Santacloses his eyes, bows his head, joins his hands and says his prayer.

Santa: "Ho Jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan ho. Saannoo 100 rupayen chahiye. Kirpa karo."
The priest sawSantapraying. He wante to helpSanta, but knew that a Sikh will never accept the money. So he drops a 100 rupee note, from behind the statue, so that Santa can not see him.

AfterSantahad said his prayers, and opened his eyes. He saw the note and thought that god has listened to his prayers. He takes the note and goes away. However he is back again next day for money. Now the priest is really annoyed withSanta. The Priest decides that he is not going to give any more money to Santa.
He changes the big Shivji statue with smaller one of Ganapathi that day. Once again Santa goes to the prayer room. However he does not notice the difference. Santa closes his eyes, bows his head, joins his hands and says his prayer. Santa: "Ho Jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan ho. Ajj to saannoo 50 rupayen hi chahiye. Kirpa karo." After that he slowly opens his eyes and does not find any money.

Santa:"O papa jee tussee itne vadde ho. Itne mahan ho. Asee 10 rupayen me hi kaam chala lenge. Kirpa karo jee." After that he slowly opens his eyes and does not find any money. He slowly raises his head and now notices that small Ganapthi statue. He carefully looks left and than right, & than slowly moves a bit forward near the statue. Than he whispers to the Statue: "Beta, Papa kitthe hai?!?!!

*********************************************************************************

SantaSinghandBantaSinghboth bought one horse each.

They wanted to make sure that they feed their own horse each morning. SoSanta Singhasked "how will we know which is your

and which is mine?"

Banta Singhsaid "its easy I will cut mine's tail, and yours will be the one with tail."

Some boys outside heard it and cut the tail of other horse too.

So the next morning confusion arose even more.Santa Singhsaid."don worry, ill tie a bell around its neck, yours will be the

one without the bell."

The boys heard this too so they cut the bell.

The next day,Santa Singhgot frustrated and said

"OKAY!! now the last criteria will be that:

WHITE HORSE will be yours and BLACK HORSE will be mine."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sardarjibought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Amritsar, where he lived, to Jalandar to meet his friend.

He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect

him in the evening. But he didn't reach in the evening and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the

third day, his distraught mother ran and asked him " Arre Puttar, ki hoya?"
(What Happened, My Son?)

TheSardarjigot out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Oy, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste

chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?" (These Maruti Car people are crazy! They have four gears for

going forward, but only one for going back!)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

SantaSinghdecided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with. A month later he returned to the

dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at t he dealer for

another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died.

'But I think I know where I'm going wrong,' saidSanta, 'I think I'm planting them too deep.'

************************************************************************************

We have our famous friendSantaSinghqualifying for the hot seat.
( He pressed the buttons by accident and managed to qualify).

AmitabhBachchan: OK Santa I congratulate you for this opportunity here
with us.
Santa: Oh ji Wahe guru da khalsa wahe guru di fateh. Chak denge phatte
aaj.
Tusi start karo ji.

AB: OK Santa this is your first question for 1000
Rs. - 'Which state has the largest sikh population ?' and your options are
:
A. Punjab
B. Punjab
C. Punjab
D. Punjab
Santa: Oh ji how much time do I've to answer this question

AB: Samay ki koi pabandhi nahi hai Santa ji, you can t! ake your time
Santa(giggles) : Sir ji tricky sawaal puchha hai aapne. I would like to
use my lifeline.

AB: I'm not surprised on this , which one wud U like to use.
Santa: Audience poll

AB: OK audience please be ready with your voting pads, and your time
starts now.
After a minute we have a graphic presentation on the board.
A. 25%
B. 25%
C. 25%
D. 25%

AB:Santaji, this is a no good situation for you, I can share your
disgust here.
Santa: Yeh mere saath hi kyon hota hai. Fasa diya Sirji aapki audience
ne.
I think I've to use my second lifeline - 50 50.

AB: Very good ! 50 50 ka istemal karna chahenge. OK
computer ji do galat jawab mita diye jayen.
Computer displays A. Punjab and C. Punjab
Santa: Badi chalu machine hai aapki sar ji. Mein chodoonga nahi aaj
isko.
Wahe guru de kasam mereko third life line bhi chahiye.

AB: Kamal hai Santa ji, I must congratulate you, You have record of
using
all the lifelines in the very first question.
This is great . OK phone a friend - kisko phone karna chahen ge aap.
Santa: My one and only one... mera langotiya yaar., Banta Singh.

AB: OK Banta ko phone lagaya jaye.
Phone rings. Banta picks it 'Hulloooooo, kon hai oye adhi raati,???'

AB: HelloBantaji , mein Amitabh Bachhan bol raha hoon Star Plus ke
KaunBanegaCrorepatise.
Banta: OOOOOOOOOO Bachan ji Sasriyakal, koi hor hota to uski to mein....
#_^_%_#_%_%_&. Ki hal chal he sar ji.

AB: Mein thik hoon Banta ji, par ye ek family show hai is liye aap
apshabdon ka prayog na karen to behtar hoga. Aapke dost yahaan
bethe hain mere saath aur.................
Banta(Interrupts) : Aur wo sala pehle hi question pe atak gayahoga,
khota hai sala. Sawal pucho ji.

AB: Aapko sirf tees second .,.............chaliye mein aapko special
case
karte hue 1 minute doonga. Aur aapka samay shuru hota hai aab.
Santa: Oye bante ke ho raya hai yaar ??
Banta: Oye ullu de dum, saale bahar se taala laga gaya khote. Sawere dud
wala aaya si, paise mang raya si, aur khotya tu meri kameez
pehen
gaya. Sale chakki se aata lana tha, tera baap layega kya ??.

AB:Santaji kya kar rahe hain samay khatam ho raha hai.
Santa: Yes Yes. Oye chod use yaar question hai ..... (he tells him the
question).
Banta: Saale sari zindagi tere nakal mar ke fail hota raha hoon, par iska
answer
mujhe aata hai. Kalank hai tu Punjab ke naam pe. Iska answer
Punjabhai
lallu.
Santa: oye par ......... (and the clock stops).

AB: Samay khatam, aapke mitr ne jawab de diya hai , ab to mujhe pakka
confidence
hai ke aap kam se kam 1000 to le ke jayenge hi aaj.
Santa: Ullu ka patha hai ji, ye to mujhe bhi pata hai par sale ne yeh
to batya nahin ke A hai ya C hai.

And this was the last episode ofKBCas most of the audience died
laughing...

Munna , Circuit and Mamu Jokes

PROFESSOR
Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI
Bole toh pehlay date of birth batamamu.

----------------------------------------------------------------
CIRCUIT
AyeMamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU
Nehin.
CIRCUIT
To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.

----------------------------------------------------------------

MUNNA BHAI
Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU
Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI
Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
MAMU
Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hai.
MAMUKA DOST
Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

MUNNA BHAI
Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT
Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI
Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT
Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

PRINCIPAL
Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.

English And Hindi Jokes

There was once a man who was selling his horse but he didn't want to because to make it go, you had to say thank god and to make it stop, you had to say tom cruise.There was this one other man who wanted to buy a horse so he tried it.The man who wass selling the horse told the other man everything about the horse so the man on the horse started by saying thank god and the horse started moving.The man on the horse rode for a few minutes until he saw cliff.The man forgot what to tell the horse to make the horse stop.Tommy Hilfiger?What was the name?Then he got it.Tom Cruise!The horse stopped.The horse stopped about one foot away from the cliff.The man on the horse said,"thank god we didn't fall off the cliff".THUMP!The end
********************************************* once a chicken married a mosquitoe. guess what happened? the next day the chicken died due to malaria and the mosquitoe died due to bird flue.
********************************************** Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why? Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
********************************************** How can we boil the oil? By adding B to it
************************************************ A sardarji went to a STD/ISD PCO and slapped the operator twice. Guess why? a. Beacause there it was written, Number dail kerne se pehele do lagae
************************************************** teacher:who climbed everest first? ram:there were 11 people teacher:how? ram:hilary and ten singh
**************************************************** First man to the God-Oh God give a room filled with gold Second man to the God-Oh God give me a room filled with silver Third man to the God-Oh God give me the keys of those rooms
********************************************************** johny:sam, if u tell me how many eggs are in the basket, i will give 8 of them to u. if u tell me it belongs to which animal, i will give the hen to u.COME ON ANSWER! sam: oh,at least give me a hint.
*********************************************************** how does the sea say hello? ANS: by giving a little wave. what is the best thing you put in a cake? ANS: your teeth! what do you call two spiders on honeymoon? ANS: newly webs.
***************************************************** ram: my camera is not zooming . what should i do? shyam: sing a song. ram: which song? shyam: zoom barabar zoom barabar....
************************************************* Teacher:I am p.h.d you all know that can anyone tell me what it stands for? Back Bencher:Passed High School with great Difficulty
**************************************** a woman: i can read your mind john: oh yeah? show me! the woman reads his mind and says:unbelievable! you dont have anything in your mind!
*************************************************** son : who are the ones who go to heaven even after comitting a lot of murders. mother : dont know. son : Doctors!
**************************************************** which is the most ancient animal? sochoo... zebra.... pucho kyun? b'coz itz black n white.....!!!
***************************************************** A man went to a restuarent and ordered a pizza...He said"Waiter,Cheese is bad for health....Wait! Even bread and chicken has calories...So, avoid them.The waiter served him tomatoes and said"Very healthy! Sir......!!!!!!!!!!!

Language

khatriahm — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 09:24:39 CST

Note : Language learning

French

Portuguese

American English - Spanish - Chinese

Grammar

khatriahm — Mon, 17 Nov 2008 09:12:25 CST

Noun

In linguistics, a noun is a member of a large, open lexical category whose members can occur as the main word in the subject of a clause, the object of a verb, or the object of a preposition.[1]

Lexical categories are defined in terms of how their members combine with other kinds of expressions. The syntactic rules for nouns differ from language to language. In English, nouns may be defined as those words which can occur with articles and attributive adjectives and can function as the head of a noun phrase.

In traditional English grammar, the noun is one of the eight parts of speech.

History

The word comes from the Latin nomen meaning "name". Word classes like nouns were first described by the Sanskrit grammarian Pāṇini and ancient Greeks like Dionysios Thrax; and were defined in terms of their morphological properties. For example, in Ancient Greek, nouns inflect for grammatical case, such as dative or accusative. Verbs, on the other hand, inflect for tenses, such as past, present or future, while nouns do not. Aristotle also had a notion of onomata (nouns) and rhemata (verbs) which, however, does not exactly correspond with modern notions of nouns and verbs.[2]

Vinokurova's dissertation gives a more detailed discussion of the historical origin of the notion of a noun.[3]

Different definitions of nouns

Expressions of natural language have properties at different levels. They have formal properties, like what kinds of morphological prefixes or suffixes they take and what kinds of other expressions they combine with; but they also have semantic properties, i.e. properties pertaining to their meaning. The definition of a noun at the outset of this page is thus a formal, traditional grammatical definition. That definition, for the most part, is considered uncontroversial and furnishes the propensity for certain language users to effectively distinguish most nouns from non-nouns. However, it has the disadvantage that it does not apply to nouns in all languages. For example in Russian, there are no definite articles, so one cannot define nouns as words that are modified by definite articles. There are also several attempts of defining nouns in terms of their semantic properties. Many of these are controversial, but some are discussed below.

Rodin's "Thinker". Should we refer to this with a verb ("think", "ponder") or a noun ("thought", "thinker"), or an adjective ("pensive", "thoughtful")? In different contexts, any of these would do. This illustrates the problem with defining lexical categories in terms of what they refer to.

Names for things

In traditional school grammars, one often encounters the definition of nouns that they are all and only those expressions that refer to a person, place, thing, event, substance, quality, or idea, etc. This is a semantic definition. It has been criticized by contemporary linguists as being uninformative.[citation needed] Contemporary linguists generally agree that one cannot successfully define nouns (or other grammatical categories) in terms of what sort of object in the world they refer to or signify. Part of the conundrum is that the definition makes use of relatively general nouns ("thing", "phenomenon", "event") to define what nouns are. The existence of such general nouns demonstrates that nouns refer to entities that are organized in taxonomic hierarchies. But other kinds of expressions are also organized into such structured taxonomic relationships. For example the verbs "stroll","saunter", "stride", and "tread" are more specific words than the more general "walk". Moreover, "walk" is more specific than the verb "move", which, in turn, is less general than "change". But it is unlikely that such taxonomic relationships can be used to define nouns and verbs. We cannot define verbs as those words that refer to "changes" or "states", for example, because the nouns change and state probably refer to such things, but, of course, aren't verbs. Similarly, nouns like "invasion", "meeting", or "collapse" refer to things that are "done" or "happen". In fact, an influential theory has it that verbs like "kill" or "die" refer to events,[4][5] which is among the sort of thing that nouns are supposed to refer to. The point being made here is not that this view of verbs is wrong, but rather that this property of verbs is a poor basis for a definition of this category, just like the property of having wheels is a poor basis for a definition of cars (some things that have wheels, such as my suitcase or a jumbo jet, aren't cars). Similarly, adjectives like "yellow" or "difficult" might be thought to refer to qualities, and adverbs like "outside" or "upstairs" seem to refer to places, which are also among the sorts of things nouns can refer to. But verbs, adjectives and adverbs are not nouns, and nouns aren't verbs, adjectives or adverbs. One might argue that "definitions" of this sort really rely on speakers' prior intuitive knowledge of what nouns, verbs and adjectives are, and, so don't really add anything over and beyond this. Speakers' intuitive knowledge of such things might plausibly be based on formal criteria, such as the traditional grammatical definition of English nouns aforementioned.

Prototypically referential expressions

Another semantic definition of nouns is that they are prototypically referential.[6] That definition is also not very helpful in distinguishing actual nouns from verbs. But it may still correctly identify a core property of nounhood. For example, we will tend to use nouns like "fool" and "car" when we wish to refer to fools and cars, respectively. The notion that this is prototypical reflects the fact that such nouns can be used, even though nothing with the corresponding property is referred to:

John is no fool.
If I had a car, I'd go to Marrakech.
The first sentence above doesn't refer to any fools, nor does the second one refer to any particular car.

Predicates with identity criteria

The British logician Peter Thomas Geach proposed a very subtle semantic definition of nouns.[7] He noticed that adjectives like "same" can modify nouns, but no other kinds of parts of speech, like verbs or adjectives. Not only that, but there also doesn't seem to be any other expressions with similar meaning that can modify verbs and adjectives. Consider the following examples.

Good: John and Bill participated in the same fight.
Bad: *John and Bill samely fought.

Identity criteria allow us to represent who is identical to whom
There is no English adverb "samely". In some other languages, like Czech, however there are adverbs corresponding to "samely". Hence, in Czech, the translation of the last sentence would be fine; however, it would mean that John and Bill fought in the same way: not that they participated in the same fight. Geach proposed that we could explain this, if nouns denote logical predicates with identity criteria. An identity criterion would allow us to conclude, for example, that "person x at time 1 is the same person as person y at time 2". Different nouns can have different identity criteria. A well known example of this is due to Gupta:

Classification of nouns in English

Proper nouns and common nouns

Proper nouns (also called proper names) are nouns representing unique entities (such as London, Universe or John), as distinguished from common nouns which describe a class of entities (such as city, planet or person).[8]

In English and most other languages that use the Latin alphabet, proper nouns are usually capitalized.[9] Languages differ in whether most elements of multiword proper nouns are capitalised (e.g., American English House of Representatives) or only the initial element (e.g., Slovenian Državni zbor 'National Assembly'). In German, nouns of all types are capitalized. The convention of capitalizing all nouns was previously used in English, but ended circa 1800.[citation needed] In America, the shift in capitalization is recorded in several noteworthy documents. The end (but not the beginning) of the Declaration of Independence (1776) and all of the Constitution (1787) show nearly all nouns capitalized, the Bill of Rights (1789) capitalizes a few common nouns but not most of them, and the Thirteenth Constitutional Amendment (1865) only capitalizes proper nouns.

Sometimes the same word can function as both a common noun and a proper noun, where one such entity is special. For example the common noun god denotes all deities, while the proper noun God references the monotheistic God specifically.

Owing to the essentially arbitrary nature of orthographic classification and the existence of variant authorities and adopted house styles, questionable capitalization of words is not uncommon, even in respected newspapers and magazines. Most publishers, however, properly require consistency, at least within the same document, in applying their specified standard.

The common meaning of the word or words constituting a proper noun may be unrelated to the object to which the proper noun refers. For example, someone might be named "Tiger Smith" despite being neither a tiger nor a smith. For this reason, proper nouns are usually not translated between languages, although they may be transliterated. For example, the German surname Knödel becomes Knodel or Knoedel in English (not the literal Dumpling). However, the transcription of place names and the names of monarchs, popes, and non-contemporary authors is common and sometimes universal. For instance, the Portuguese word Lisboa becomes Lisbon in English; the English London becomes Londres in French; and the Greek Aristotelēs becomes Aristotle in English.

Countable and uncountable nouns

Main articles: Count noun and Mass noun
Count nouns are common nouns that can take a plural, can combine with numerals or quantifiers (e.g. "one", "two", "several", "every", "most"), and can take an indefinite article ("a" or "an"). Examples of count nouns are "chair", "nose", and "occasion".

Mass nouns (or non-count nouns) differ from count nouns in precisely that respect: they can't take plural or combine with number words or quantifiers. Examples from English include "laughter", "cutlery", "helium", and "furniture". For example, it is not possible to refer to "a furniture" or "three furnitures". This is true even though the pieces of furniture comprising "furniture" could be counted. Thus the distinction between mass and count nouns shouldn't be made in terms of what sorts of things the nouns refer to, but rather in terms of how the nouns present these entities.[10][11]

Collective nouns

Main article: Collective noun
Collective nouns are nouns that refer to groups consisting of more than one individual or entity, even when they are inflected for the singular. Examples include "committee", "herd", and "school" (of herring). These nouns have slightly different grammatical properties than other nouns. For example, the noun phrases that they head can serve as the subject of a collective predicate, even when they are inflected for the singular. A collective predicate is a predicate that normally can't take a singular subject. An example of the latter is "talked to each other".

Good: The boys talked to each other.
Bad: *The boy talked to each other.
Good: The committee talked to each other.

Concrete nouns and abstract nouns

Further information: physical body and abstract object
Concrete nouns refer to physical bodies which you use at least one of your senses to observe. For instance, "chair", "apple", or "Janet". Abstract nouns on the other hand refer to abstract objects, that is ideas or concepts, such as "justice" or "hate". While this distinction is sometimes useful, the boundary between the two of them is not always clear; consider, for example, the noun "art". In English, many abstract nouns are formed by adding noun-forming suffixes ("-ness", "-ity", "-tion") to adjectives or verbs. Examples are "happiness", "circulation" and "serenity".

Nouns and pronouns

Noun phrases can typically be replaced by pronouns, such as "he", "it", "which", and "those", in order to avoid repetition or explicit identification, or for other reasons. For example, in the sentence "Janet thought that he was weird", the word "he" is a pronoun standing in place of the name of the person in question. The English word one can replace parts of noun phrases, and it sometimes stands in for a noun. An example is given below:

John's car is newer than the one that Bill has.
But one can also stand in for bigger subparts of a noun phrase. For example, in the following example, one can stand in for new car.

This new car is cheaper than that one.

Substantive as a word for "noun"

Starting with old Latin grammars, many European languages use some form of the word substantive as the basic term for noun. Nouns in the dictionaries of such languages are demarked by the abbreviation "s" instead of "n", which may be used for proper nouns instead. This corresponds to those grammars in which nouns and adjectives phase into each other in more areas than, for example, the English term predicate adjective entails. In French and Spanish, for example, adjectives frequently act as nouns referring to people who have the characteristics of the adjective. An example in English is:

The poor you have always with you.
Similarly, an adjective can also be used for a whole group or organization of people:

The Socialist International.
Hence, these words are substantives that are usually adjectives in English.

Example

Thecatsat on themat.
Please hand in yourassignmentsby theendof theweek.
Cleanlinessis next togodliness.
George Washingtonwas the firstpresidentof theUnited States of America.

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